Thursday, August 31, 2006

Magically Delicious?


Coach Woody's Fighting Irish head south to Atlanta this weekend for a matchup with Georgia Tech. The Yellow Jackets are anxious for the upset, but something tells me they run out of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers by the end of the third quarter.

Bando's Best Friend


Bando will be spending Labor Day Weekend with former Hurricanes QB Gino Torretta.

Life Could Be Worse...


You could be in Starkville, site of the 2003 FP road trip, tonight. At least you'd be able to see South Carolina play Mississippi State in person, but would that be worth it?

Crimson Crisis For Colt


Can Hawaii take down Alabama in Tuscaloosa this weekend? Not likely, but GQ won't be watching Colt Brennan (above). He'll be daydreaming about Timmy Chang. The rest of us could study up on Timmy's life story, but why would we?

Uh-oh, Warrior Nation: College Football news picks the Tide 31-18.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Dreaded Hat


It began as a joke, but it has turned into something far more sinister. The Vol hat, as it is commonly called, was purchased in a nondescript gas station in rural West Tennessee in 2003.

During that fateful trip to see the Commodores play Mississippi State, the hat was merely an idea. It was already becoming a reality, though, for poor Coach GQ, who made the mistake of selecting the underachieving Auburn Tigers as his first selection in the pool draft weeks earlier. In 2004, Coach Woody suffered through a season with the hat after securing the hat in a photo finish finale (when Iowa State dumped Missouri in overtime). Last season, Coach Rob fell victim to the "Wannstedt effect," when Pittsburgh and Purdue mailed in the better part of their seasons, and wound up as this year's hat bearer.

With the Vol hat comes much, much shame and the potential for public ridicule. As declared in Rule #13, the hat "shall be worn to all sporting events and game nights where all participants are in attendance until the following football season has ended."

Photo of the Week


It's destination Ann Arbor for 75 percent of the pool this week, as everyone but Coach Bando heads north to see the Michigan Wolverines take on our beloved Vanderbilt Commodores. It's likely to be ugly early, but that won't stop the crew from taking in a little of the pageantry and excitement that is the Big House.

2006 Preview: Coach GQ


After losing out in his coin-flip decision between USC and Texas last year, Coach GQ looks to claim his championship 12 months behind his original schedule. Picking fourth in accordance with Rule #18, here's a look at Coach GQ's roster:

  • Auburn: depending on who you ask, Tigers are #1, but can they escape the SEC?
  • California: will well-hyped Bears be well-rested and battle-tested in Knoxville and beyond?
  • Michigan: can Henne, Hart and their henchmen recover from their sophomore slump?
  • Boise State: have Broncos come back to mid-major pack, or will new coach mean more wins?
  • Nebraska: having discovered the forward pass and bowl season, can Huskers do it again?
Top to bottom, Coach GQ has as many question marks as his opposing coaches, but will they be exclamation points by late November? Only time will tell.

2006 Preview: Coach Woody


Looking to defend his 2005 title, Coach Woody picked third in accordance with Rule #18 and is looking to blow past the other coaches early this season after escaping in third place last year. Here's a look at Coach Woody's roster:

  • Notre Dame: feast or famine with this year's hype alert
  • Louisville: battling West Virginia for the Big East and piling on easy wins on the way
  • FSU: if they can cross midfield, they'll have a shot at several shutouts
  • TCU: mid-major courts the coach with double-digit wins, but is there a collapse in store?
  • ASU: will Sun Devils see 2005 or 2006 in the mirror this year--or (gasp) 2004
Overall, Coach Woody has a solid roster that will likely pile of plenty of wins. This year's competition looks to be especially tight as parity reigns supreme on the field, and Woody looks to be right in the mix.

2006 Preview: Coach Rob


Smarting big time from last season, hat bearer Coach Rob is looking to rid himself of the hated headgear quickly this season. Picking second in accordance with Rule #18, here's a look at Coach Rob's roster:

  • Texas: Good enough for cash last year, but who's throwing the ball this time?
  • USC: All-time greatest team according to some, but is anyone left this year?
  • Florida: Competing against Miami for top honors in the "who knows?" competition
  • Va. Tech: Reloading or rebuilding, we'll see come October
  • Georgia: Loaded everywhere except where it counts, QB
Coach Rob's roster is stocked with powerhouses from last season, but will there be a power outage in '06?

2006 Preview: Coach Bando


The FP conducted its annual draft on August 19 for the upcoming season. Coach Bando selected first in accordance with FP Rule #18. Here's a quick look at Bando's roster:

  • Ohio State: the consensus #1 going into the season, but will it last?
  • West Virginia: the sexy sleeper pick that will ensure lots of wins, most likely
  • LSU: A stout top-10 squad facing a nightmare road schedule
  • Miami: A perennial power turned question mark, heart wins out over head?
  • Iowa: solid Big Ten contender and victim of last year's hype machine
As expected with the #1 overall pick, Bando looks to be in good shape for this year's tilt.

Football Pool Rules

The FP embraces a rigorous set of rules to ensure fair and hearty competition each fall. Here is the current set of rules as of August 2006.

  1. Each player shall select six college football teams through the selection draft: five teams, by draft order, for the overall team competition and a sixth BONUS team.
  2. No participant shall select the Tennessee Vols under any circumstances.
  3. BONUS teams may not be listed in the ESPN/USA Today poll or the AP poll, may not have appeared in a bowl game the previous season and must have had a losing record during the previous season. They may appear in the “also receiving votes” category of both polls.
  4. The champion each season shall be the player who selected the team that wins the BCS Championship.
  5. In cases of split polls, the champion shall be the player with the team listed as #1 in the ESPN/USA Today final season poll. If no player selects this team, see rule #22 below.
  6. Each player shall agree to submit a championship award amount to be determined by the draft position of the team that wins the national championship (as identified under rules #4 and #5 above).
  7. The award amounts shall be as follows for the winning player's team, as based on the team's draft position:
    • Player's first pick: $75 ($25 each from the other participating players)
    • Player's second pick: $60 ($20 each from the other participating players)
    • Player's third pick: $45 ($15 each from the other participating players)
    • Player's fourth pick: $30 ($10 each from the other participating players)
    • Player's fifth pick: $15 ($5 each from the other participating players)
    • BONUS pick: Dinner at SATCO
  8. The player whose BONUS pick finishes ahead of the other players' BONUS teams shall receive free dinner at SATCO when all participants are in attendance. BONUS pick standings shall be determined in the following order:
    • Final ESPN/USA Today poll rank of each player's BONUS pick
    • Overall won-loss record of each player's BONUS pick
    • Best combined ESPN/USA Today and AP poll finishes of each player's BONUS pick
    • Overall won-loss record of each player's BONUS pick
    • Best combined ESPN/USA Today and AP poll finishes of each player's BONUS pick
  9. If a player's BONUS pick should win the national championship, that player shall buy dinner at SATCO for the other participants and shall not collect any award monies.
  10. If the Tennessee Volunteers should win the national championship in a given year, no players shall be required to pay any monies. The Volunteer Cap (see rule #13 below) shall be burned, and participants shall pool funds to purchase a new cap as directed under said rule. May God have mercy on us all.
  11. Standings shall be kept on a weekly basis throughout the season and shall be listed in the following order:
    • Overall won-loss record of each player's #1 draft pick
    • ESPN/USA Today poll ranking of each player's #1 draft pick
    • Combined won-loss record of each player's five non-BONUS teams
  12. Last place finish shall be determined in the following order:
    • Combined won-loss record of each player's five non-BONUS teams
    • Worst won-loss record among all players' #1 picks
    • Worst won-loss record among all players' BONUS picks
  13. The player who finishes in last place shall wear a Tennessee Vols cap to be determined by all participants in advance of the season's first college football game. This cap shall be worn to all sporting events and game nights where all participants are in attendance until the following football season has ended. At that time, the next successor shall be determined. The last place player shall begin wearing this hat immediately.
  14. This cap shall not be replaced by another cap, except as determined by rule #10 above or as determined by an agreement among all four participants.
  15. Should the cap be lost at any time, the offending player must replace the cap by purchasing an even uglier cap, as agreed upon by all participants.
  16. Coach Woody shall keep the standings for the season. His duties shall begin following the selection draft and end following the SATCO BONUS champion dinner.
  17. Standings shall be sent via email to all participants once per week. No explanation or trash talk shall be required but shall be enthusiastically encouraged by the other participants.
  18. The draft shall be conducted in the following linear order: Woody, Bando, Rob, GQ. The order shall shift each year, so that the coach who picked first the previous year shall pick last and the coach who picked last shall pick third, and so forth. (Rule pending)
  19. Once selections have been made, all picks shall be considered final.
  20. The five highest-ranked remaining teams in the ESPN/USA Today poll not selected in the draft shall be designated as “George Plaster’s team.” The won-loss records of these teams shall be included in the weekly standings.
  21. The “Hope Springs Eternal” Rule: The Vanderbilt Commodores shall be designated as George Plaster’s perpetual BONUS pick. Should the Commodores ever win the BONUS competition, all four participants shall locate George Plaster and take him out to dinner at SATCO.
  22. In the event that no player has selected the team that wins the BCS Championship, no player shall collect any monies. A progressive jackpot of $5 per Coach per year shall begin to accumulate after the season. This jackpot shall be awarded to the player who selects the team that wins the next BCS Championship. If no player selects the championship team in consecutive years, this jackpot shall continue to be increased until a player selects the BCS Champion.
  23. This game shall hereafter be referred to as “The Football Pool”. At no time shall “Have Fun. Expect to Win” serve as The Football Pool’s motto.
  24. New participants shall be approved by all four participants.
  25. The rules listed above and below shall not be amended except as approved by all participants.